Author Archives: David Raposa

David Raposa

… is a staff writer for Pitchfork, and contributed to The Pitchfork 500: Our Guide to the Greatest Songs from Punk to the Present. He has also been published by The Village Voice, The Hartford Courant, Freaky Trigger, Cave 17 (created by Jockish writer Matt Cibula) and all sorts of low-profile and/or defunct and/or personal blogs and websites. When he’s not fielding unfriendly fan mail, or pretending Hee-Seop Choi had a successful major league career, he’s waiting for current Red Sox play-by-play announcer Don Orsillo to transmogrify into former Red Sox play-by-play announcer Sean McDonough.

The Kid Gloves Are On (Underneath The Kid Gloves)

By David Raposa | Published: August 31, 2009
Joba Rules Joba Rules Joba Rules.  I imagine even diehard denizens of the Yankee Universe are sick of the continuing refinement and rejiggering of the Joba Rules.  They were initially put in place to keep notorious bullpen bully Joe Torre from shredding Joba’s golden arm in the pursuit of World Series glory.  They’ve since been [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Another Open Letter From Billy Wagner

By David Raposa | Published: August 27, 2009
Hard to believe it’s been nearly a year since my last open letter.  A lot’s happened since then, including exactly what I said would happen to the Mets after I went to the DL.  Just like in 2007, they got chumped by the Phillies.  Again.  Then they signed K-Rod and even traded for that J.J. [...]
Posted in Billy Wagner, Yard Work | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Is Signing Your Fancy-Pants Draft Pick Something You Might Be Interested In?

By David Raposa | Published: August 27, 2009
Let me set the scene for you.  You’re an up and coming sports franchise that’s coming off an awful, terrible year.  Flop after flop after flop.  Maybe not flops as bad as Popeye or Ishtar, but close enough to give you some palpitations and night sweats — something like Jade or Silver, let’s say.  Real stinkeroos. But [...]
Posted in Bob Ryan (Hollywood), Hard Wood, White Lines, Yard Work | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

What The NFL Needs Now Is A Player Named Josef Witepaur

By David Raposa | Published: August 24, 2009
Newsflash!  Folks spend a lot of money on their pets!  Even when the economy’s going sideways!  According to the American Pet Products Association (and this CNN blog post that references the APPA’s press release on this subject), 2009 spending on your favorite ball of fur and poop is on track to increase to $45.5 billion, [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Question: Is FSI A Really Insurance?

By David Raposa | Published: August 22, 2009
FSI being Fantasy Sports Insurance, of course, and answer: yes they can!  Can’t Stop The Bleeding contributor and grown-ass freelance writer (and yet another Official Friend of Jockish — e-mail me for membership info and rates!) David Roth just blogged about this particularly interesting and curious service.  In case you’re wondering where Roth stands on [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Now Let Brian Bannister Blow Your Mind (Again)

By David Raposa | Published: August 21, 2009
 As Tim Marchman wrote (in one of the blog posts I’m pilfering for this blog post): "To think about the arms God gave some of these clowns while leaving [Brian] Bannister with 86 mph…" [A]fter reporters asked him why he got hammered he led off by saying, ‘Pitch/FX is telling me that my pitches aren’t [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

You Say Teixeira, I Say Mauer!

By David Raposa | Published: August 21, 2009
Ed Price, August 19th: Although all of those Yankee haters out there were enjoying the show early in the season, as the player with the biggest contract this side of Alex Rodriguez got booed during a slow start, the story has changed. Take a look now. [Mark] Teixeira and the Yankees are soaring. "He’s the [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Why My Dad Is Brett Favre, My Hero

By David Raposa | Published: August 21, 2009
My dad is a world famous Super Bowl Quarterback.  His name is Brett Favre.  A lot of people like to make fun of my dad for all sorts of reasons.  They like to make fun of the way he spells his name because it doesn’t look like it sounds.  They also like to make fun [...]
Posted in Breleigh Favre, White Lines | Leave a comment

Griffey Breaking (It) Down

By David Raposa | Published: August 20, 2009
From the good old days, when The Kid actually was a kid and could actually play center field.  The tune and the rhymes (by Griffey and/or Kid Sensation) might not be to your liking, but the play-by-play call of Griffey’s first MLB home run by long time Mariner broadcaster Dave Neihaus right at the start [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Fire Mother Goose!

By David Raposa | Published: August 19, 2009
I could go a long while without reading another random blog commenter or blog post or Tweet lamenting the "loss" of beloved blog Fire Joe Morgan.  This might be due to some professional jealousy — I should totally be the one co-creating and writing two successful sitcoms, man! — or just some old-fashioned hatorade regarding the [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Hey, I Heard You Missed Us…

By David Raposa | Published: August 12, 2009
…or not. At any rate, whether you’re a long-time reader, or someone new to this thing, or just some random Googler looking for “kenny powers toilet seat” — hello there!  The next time this site takes a multi-month hiatus, I’ll try to warn you kind folks (or, ideally, NOT take the hiatus). As for what’s [...]
Posted in Official Statements | Leave a comment

Let’s Get Ready To Not Rumble

By David Raposa | Published: August 12, 2009
It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t long.  It was barely even a fight.  But when Red Sox slugger Kevin Youkilis took a pitch from Detroit Tiger wunderkind Rick Porcello between the two and the zero on the back of his jersey, I swear I saw heard a bell ring.  This meeting of the minds and other body parts was nothing more [...]
Posted in Bert Sugar, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Welcome To Chicago, Jay Cutler! Hope You Survive The Experience!

By David Raposa | Published: August 11, 2009
Remember when the Denver Broncos traded Jay Cutler to the Chicago Bears?  And everyone thought he was really immature and a headcase?  And maybe they still think that, and wonder what the hell Chicago’s thinking?  Yeah!  Now that the NFL season’s about to start, the fine folks here at Jockish thought it’d be great to see [...]
Posted in Jockish Staff, White Lines | Leave a comment

A Noun, A Verb, And Performance Enhancing Drugs

By David Raposa | Published: August 10, 2009
Cincinnati Post columnist Paul Daugherty wrote a column about the David Ortiz press conference.  This is the first sentence in that column: Big Popper Ortiz said he was sorry for something. Since I’ve quoted from it (and I’m trying to be a responsible blogger), I’ve linked to the column below.  But clearly, from the way [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Throw Some PEDs On That Ish

By David Raposa | Published: August 8, 2009
For folks that are able to recover from last night’s 15-inning Red Sox / Yankees 1-0 marathon (which might include the dude typing this who was unceremoniously pulled out of a really odd dream by an obnoxious ring-and-run telemarketer), there’s an exciting event planned before today’s Sabathia / Lester // Buck / McCarver double bill. [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | 1 Comment

When Peformance Enhancement Goes Too Far

By David Raposa | Published: August 7, 2009
I’ll leave the Michael Vick joeks to those bloggers that worry about things like “traffic” and “page views” and such silliness: Some saffron finches seized last month in an alleged Connecticut bird-fighting ring had sharpened beaks, and at least one had a sharp metal object attached to its beak, police said Friday. Investigators said in [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Give Brian Bannister Ten Minutes, He’ll Fix Victor Zambrano And Dewon Brazelton

By David Raposa | Published: August 7, 2009
Article (& even the quoted bit) ganked from Baseball Think Factory’s Newsblog, but if the internet’s about anything, it’s about sharing, so: Bannister recalls Rick Peterson, the Mets’ pitching coach at the time, talking about pitch counts. It was simple math — "If you get ahead of a guy in an 0-2 count, his batting [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Right School Of Thought, Wrong School

By David Raposa | Published: August 7, 2009
Hey, you know, Zeke also ran a professional sports league!  FIU business BAs looking for an advisor — take note! Like every other college basketball player with a lick of talent, Dominique Ferguson has one goal: to play in the NBA. So when it came to picking his college, Ferguson decided to go with a [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Cleveland (Is On The) Rocks!

By David Raposa | Published: August 7, 2009
LIZ LEMON! What’s up chicken butt? ;)  And if you don’t know, now you know – it’s the Floydster!  Do the dap! I know we haven’t talked much since that, um, incident in the airport with the key and the schadenfreude, so I’m trying out this AWESOME new technology that’s all the craze with the kids [...]
Posted in Floyd, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Ticket Stub All Torn Up & A Twitter

By David Raposa | Published: August 6, 2009
Took this from Ball Don’t Lie, but what might be bigger news than Big Baby’s fruitless quest for some mid-level-exception loot is that he has a Twitter account (@bigbabybball)!  And he loves exclamation points!  Some highlights: “Anybody know what’s going on with the Celtics? Cause I don’t!” “I wonder how the weather (is in) Boston [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Are Ks OK?

By David Raposa | Published: August 6, 2009
We are in a very interesting time in the history of baseball, thanks to steroids. With the decline of performance in many superstars that admitted to taking steroids (like Boston’s David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez), we have proof that The Steroid Era is finally over. But as with anything that has a lasting impact, we [...]
Posted in Joe Morgan, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Let Phreedom Ring

By David Raposa | Published: April 2, 2009
It is a shame when the court of public opinion turns upon and unfairly passes judgement on our fellow man, as was the case a few years ago with my prospective client and St. Louis Cardinal star outfielder Rick Ankiel. It is even a greater shame when these missed opportunities force the shuttering of such [...]
Posted in Terrence Hammersmith, Yard Work | Leave a comment

2009 MLB Preview: Speaking Truth To You, By Kenny Powers

By David Raposa | Published: March 31, 2009
Back up the truck and get off the lawn, kids — Jockish’s 2009 MLB Previewish is back at it, this time going south to sweet Georgia with the star of HBO’s acclaimed documentary series Eastbound & Down, Mr. Kenny Powers. We were able to secure this illuminating write-up from Mr. Powers during the early days [...]
Posted in Kenny Powers, Yard Work | Leave a comment

2009 MLB Preview: Blue Isn’t Anything Except A Color

By David Raposa | Published: March 30, 2009
Better late than never, here’s the first of what hopes to be a thirty-part series called The 2009 Inaugural Jockish MLB Preview / Post-Preview of Baseball Things & Stuff (AKA our ill-timed 2009 baseball preview). We begin in a place where the season’s ended far too early these past years, and with a man whose [...]
Posted in Rush Limbaugh, Yard Work | Tagged | Leave a comment

Pinstriped Bible: Hip & Well-Read On Cause & A-ffect

By David Raposa | Published: March 6, 2009
I’d hope it didn’t actually need to be said, but given there are already "Yankees Better Without A-Fraud" articles making the rounds (and yes I am jealous that real-life "journalists" got there first, so you can find the link your damn self), and I had the pleasure of hearing Mike & Mike this morning talk [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

When Quoting A President Goes Horribly Wrong

By David Raposa | Published: March 3, 2009
In case there was any doubt I was courting some sort of spam-worthy comment flood about my granola-hugging climate-hating liberal bias: Paxson’s remarks came after a week in which Rose was pulled late in games for Kirk Hinrich, a decision Del Negro defended at first, saying it was his to make as ”the decider.” After the [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Hey, I’m Just Being Ignorant Over Here!

By David Raposa | Published: March 3, 2009
We “love” it when our “favorite” sporty talking heads make us resort to using “scare quotes” like throat lozenges when they “say something really stupid.” Next on The O’Reilly Factor: the ghost of Dodgers executive Al Campanis on the significance of the Obama presidency, and former relief ace John Rocker on this year’s Nobel Prize hopefuls. Hannity [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Basketbawful: Walk This Way

By David Raposa | Published: March 2, 2009
Especially if you’re wearing a Blue Devil uniform. Yahoo’s Dagger has one — Basketbawful has FOUR. Crabwalk schmabwalk. (The 4th video is the best, as it features happy-go-lucky and totally impartial ESPNers Mike Patrick & Dick Vitale discussing the no-call … on the attempt by a Maryland player to take a charge … during the [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Physician, Stop Healing!

By David Raposa | Published: February 23, 2009
Once again, friends of mine, a hello! It is me, your own personal doctor for the Jockish, Ricardo Salvay, here to discuss with the likes of you some injuries that I have been read for about! Specially today, we have a triad — a three ring circus, if you could — from the National Basketball [...]
Posted in Hard Wood, Ricardo Salvay | Leave a comment

That Thing Around Your Neck Is Called A Whistle

By David Raposa | Published: February 20, 2009
Don’t get me started.  I gotta tell ya, it’s been taking a lot of my energy and patience to keep from talking about the referees as much as I want to these days. My producers tell me that it "alienates some impartial viewers," but I could give a rat’s fig about that. I’ve been watching [...]
Posted in Hard Wood, Tom Heinsohn | Leave a comment

Not A Dream! Not A Hoax!

By David Raposa | Published: February 19, 2009
It’s true! There are people in and around the sports world that aren’t completely losing their mind over steroid use in baseball! And not all of them are nerdy basement-sucking bloggers (or bloggers pretending to be actual published journalists)! Some of them are (or were) actually involved with Major League Baseball! I kid you not! [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

FiveThirtyEight.com: “Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy, I like him just fine…”

By David Raposa | Published: February 17, 2009
A day late and so on, and technically not so sporty, but it involves one notable baseball pundit voicing his displeasure with the thought processes of another notable baseball pundit, so pretend this is all about pitch counts or Productive Outs or something: And yet, according to George F. Will, many scientists were convinced in the 1970s that global [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

TBJ: It Felt Gooooooood

By David Raposa | Published: February 14, 2009
Even if The Jones boys got waylaid by Stern’s frozen envelope in a 2-on-2 matchup against The Truth and The Big Ticket, they can still step up in the clutch & do right by their constituents. [TBJ AZ 03: The People's Dunk Contest from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo via Ball Don't Lie]
Posted in Bang Bang | 1 Comment

I Don’t Believe What I Just Read

By David Raposa | Published: February 12, 2009
Sarah Palin, in an interview with Esquire (March 2009): ESPN was just kicking off, just getting off the ground, and I thought that’s what I was going to do in life, is be one of the first woman sportscasters. Until I learned that you’d have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

…Alex One More Time

By David Raposa | Published: February 11, 2009
Dear Alex: Hi!! This is Britney Spears writing to you. I heard about what is happening to you with the steroids and the cheating and the lies, and I think it is terrible that you should have to go through this in the public spotlight. And then I heard from one of my dancers’ trainers’ [...]
Posted in Britney Spears, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Wonkette: Ask A Stupid Question…

By David Raposa | Published: February 10, 2009
… get rightfully and righteously lit up.  And by a blogger, too.  Daaaaaaaaamn. Bonus points for not including superflous "the end" clause @ the end of the post. This Washington Post journalist, Michael Fletcher, who asked this terrible question. He works for one of the biggest news outlets in the country and attends the president’s [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Szymborski: Please, Spare Us A-Rod

By David Raposa | Published: February 9, 2009
Bolding mine, of course. Steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs are not the products of the 1990s. Charles-Édouard Brown-Séquard was making injections derived from the testicles of guinea pigs in the 1800s. Babe Ruth injected himself with extractions derived from sheep testicles in the 1920s. The German army injected their soldiers with testosterone in order to [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Marchman: They’re Grrrreat!

By David Raposa | Published: February 7, 2009
A grown man hitting the bong is, in fact, not consistent with the image of Kellogg, which packages industrial waste in colorful boxes and markets it to toddlers. [There's a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! - Tim Marchman]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Things Trey Kirby Needs To Double Check

By David Raposa | Published: February 5, 2009
Thing the Knicks Remind Me Of Remember sometime last summer (I think) when the Braves got no-hit, then someone had 20 strikeouts against them in back-to-back games? I’m pretty sure that happened this season, but I’m not entirely sure. Either way, it definitely happened and I was sad because I root for the Braves. 61 [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Arizona Loses Big Game, Wins 2nd Prize In A Beauty Contest

By David Raposa | Published: February 5, 2009
And so is born GoDaddy.com’s Super Bowl XLIV ad campaign. The clip from Shorteez, a hard-core pay-per-view adult channel owned by Playboy Enterprises, appeared in the standard-definition feed of KVOA-TV on Comcast’s local system in the game’s fourth quarter immediately after the Arizona Cardinals scored to take a 23-20 lead with less than three minutes [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Armchair Linebacker: Lions Pride

By David Raposa | Published: February 4, 2009
Haha punny!  No, seriously, Anonymous Neil’s voluminous and insightful (and often vituperative) love/hate for the Lions is something to behold.  And after the loaf Detroit pinched this past year to save all those 1-15 squads some historical face, the least folks can do is bear witness to what he has to say: Catching 78 balls [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Dwyer: Gomes Is Some Kind Of Wonderful

By David Raposa | Published: February 4, 2009
With Mark Madsen out for 8-to-12 weeks with a “DNP – Coach’s Decision,” it fell to Gomes to keep his Timberwolves (16-30 entering Tuesday night) team from falling prey to a lack of confidence, a case of self-doubt, or a sustained bout of mediocre play from the Pacers. All would have been enough to down [...]
Posted in Bang Bang | Leave a comment

Pride (In The Name Of Young)

By David Raposa | Published: January 28, 2009
What up, Internet world?  This here’s former Major League Baseball superstar Derek Bell  coming to you LIVE from some place in my life I’d rather not talk about.  Let’s just say that, ever since Major League Baseball was able to fulfill their one-sided vendetta against an outspoken and supremely talented black man, life decided to [...]
Posted in Derek Bell, Yard Work | 1 Comment

Feeling Kinda Turturro

By David Raposa | Published: January 23, 2009
Jockish has learned that "Transformers" star John Turturro (currently featured in an illuminating ad campaign for Heineken Beer — watch out, Budweiser frogs!) was also being considered for a series of ads promoting the 2009 NFL playoffs and Super Bowl XLIII.  While these promos were (sadly) never made, we’ve gotten our hands on the script for the Super Bowl spot, [...]
Posted in John Turturro, White Lines | Leave a comment

Brian’s Song

By David Raposa | Published: January 21, 2009
Watch out, Cleveland.  Don’t look now, Orlando.  Wait on ordering those trophies, Los Angeles.  The defending World Champions — you know, those top-heavy pretenders that everyone thought were dead in the water — are back and better than ever. Five straight wins.  Five straight trips to the woodshed for folks looking to take the C’s [...]
Posted in Bob Ryan (Hollywood), Hard Wood | Leave a comment

A New Morning in Rickey’s America

By David Raposa | Published: January 19, 2009
After an extended hiatus, Jockish is happy to return to a semi-regular posting schedule, and who better to jump start this jalopy than our old friend and first-ballot Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson? Yes it most definitely is a new morning for Rickey!  The sun’s a little brighter when it peeks through Rickey’s curtains and [...]
Posted in Rickey Henderson, Yard Work | Leave a comment

How I Will Fix Baseball, By Bud Selig

By David Raposa | Published: November 6, 2008
FROM: buddymillertime@brewers.com TO: ken.rosenthal@peter.gammons.butt.cx CC: us.hating.liberal@media.bias.cx BCC: hahahaah.get.it@butt.cx SUBJECT: WAHT THE FCUK would u clowzn thatre sooooooo upset abut things otu of my controll liek RAIN and NUCLAR i mean NUTREAL SITES and CRAPPY BAESBALL TEAM IN WORLD SERSIE SHOCKERS and FARI AND BALANECD FOXXX SPRTSXXX just go stick thier dick in a electric fence [...]
Posted in Bud Selig, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Bleep Is As Bleep Does

By David Raposa | Published: October 30, 2008
Heard you missed me — well, I’m back!  Gimme something to f*cking write on, man! So, yeah, congrats to the motherf*cking Phillies for figuring out the mysteries of indoor f*cking plumbing. I have two words to say about the 2008 World Series: f*ck this sh*t. I’d rather watch Barry HUSSEIN Obama spread the wealth around like [...]
Posted in Larry Bowa, Yard Work | Leave a comment

THE REAL DEAL: 2008 World Series — Philadelphia Vs. Tampa Bay

By David Raposa | Published: October 22, 2008
As enthused as I am to ride the Tampa Bay bandwagon (which I jumped on LAST YEAR thank you very much, when Carlos Pena and Lil Bossman powered a truly bonkers offense and allowed the Rays to compete in more 11-8 games than should be legally allowed) all the way to their not-so-improbable World Series victory, I [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

How Do The Lions Sleep Tonight?

By David Raposa | Published: October 16, 2008
Since most of you think of me as a basketball personality, you probably think I’m going to talk about the dismissal of my colleague Elgin Baylor from his long-time position as the leader of the Los Angeles Clippers front office. You would be wrong. First of all, the Clippers will always be a joke no [...]
Posted in Hard Wood, Isiah Thomas, White Lines | Leave a comment

THE REAL DEAL: 2008 ALCS — Boston Vs. Tampa Bay

By David Raposa | Published: October 11, 2008
ED. NOTE: Yes, this was supposed to get posted BEFORE yesterday’s 2-0 Boston win, not after.  Still, the majority of this was written prior to gametime, and were it not for the allure of larb gai and competent horror movie remakes after a rather crappy work week, it would have been posted without any knowledge [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

THE REAL DEAL: 2008 NLCS — Dodgers Vs. Phillies

By David Raposa | Published: October 9, 2008
There is no experience more humbling than to be proven irrevocably and irrefutably wrong, to have your strong convictions and unflinching opinions fly right back into your face like so much fart stink.  Were I more superstitious, I would have realized that trying to make an iron-clad case for the misbegotten luck-fearing Cubs sweeping the [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Past A Blogging Jeter

By David Raposa | Published: October 8, 2008
Hey sports fans! This is New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter coming to you “live” from this blog to talk to you about the baseball playoffs. Being a member of the Yankees when I’ve been I have a unique perspective on the playoffs. You see this is the first year since I made the Yankees [...]
Posted in Derek Jeter, Yard Work | Leave a comment

THE REAL DEAL: 2008 NLDS — Dodgers Vs. Cubs

By David Raposa | Published: October 1, 2008
Just pretend this was posted before today’s game started, if you don’t mind. And people think the Brewers / Phillies tilt is going to be one-sided. Even with Manny Ramirez’s Bonds imitation (complete with churlish behavior) and Rafael Furcal potentially being available to start at SS over Angel “Yes, I Was ROY” Berroa, the Dodgers [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | 5 Comments

THE REAL DEAL: 2008 ALDS — Red Sox Vs. Angels

By David Raposa | Published: October 1, 2008
I’m going to pretend that the Angels did not hand the Red Sox their ass eight out of nine times this year.  I’m going to imagine that perennial post-season pinata John Lackey did not pitch 16 Lackey-like (meaning ”very good”) innings against the Red Sox, limiting Boston to a paltry .132 BA.  And I will pretend that Angels did [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

THE REAL DEAL: 2008 NLDS — Brewers Vs. Phillies

By David Raposa | Published: October 1, 2008
Welcome to the first of four League Division Series write-ups / previews / what-have-you!  We’ll be back later today with more on series plural that will probably have already started by the time we click the PUBLISH button on this here blog.  And we’ll be back later this month with stuff about upcoming baseball playoff [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Will These Rays See The Light?

By David Raposa | Published: September 25, 2008
On September 16th, the Tampa Bay Rays took one on the chin from their primary contenders, who also happen to be the defending World Champions. After the Boston Red Sox waxed Rays ace Scott Kazmir, they were mere percentage points behind Tampa Bay for first place in the AL East. Two days later, the tables [...]
Posted in Jayson Stark, Yard Work | Leave a comment

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE: New York Yankees Gone But Not Forgotten In 2008 Playoffs

By David Raposa | Published: September 16, 2008
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that the New York Yankees are on the verge of not participating in the 2008 Major League Baseball posteason.  After thirteen consecutive playoff appearances – a run which included ten division titles, seven World Series appearances, and four World Series championships — the Yankees are currently in fourth place in [...]
Posted in Major League Baseball, Yard Work | 1 Comment

Doctor Doctor!

By David Raposa | Published: September 10, 2008
Hello my friends! I am Dr. Ricardo Salvay, an accredited medical professional of sports medicine and owner of multiple correspondence school degrees from various Internet institutions with a reputation. And like you I am a fan of sports! So welcome to my sports injury column! As a young Sicilian child growing up in the inner [...]
Posted in Ricardo Salvay, Yard Work | Leave a comment

An Open Letter From Billy Wagner

By David Raposa | Published: September 9, 2008
Seeing as how Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady just posted his thoughts about his season-ending injury, I thought it’d only be fair to let folks know how I’m coping with my own season-ending injury. But before I do, let me just say that I agree 1000% with what my boy Randy Moss said about that [...]
Posted in Billy Wagner, Yard Work | 1 Comment

An Open Letter From Tom Brady

By David Raposa | Published: September 8, 2008
I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers as I start down the long road towards surgery and recovery.  The outpouring of support from Patriots fans in New England and all over the world has been tremendous, and has seriously touched my heart in a lot of [...]
Posted in Tom Brady, White Lines | 1 Comment

WE HAVE MOVED…

By David Raposa | Published: September 7, 2008
… to Jockish.com. Bring a casserole!
Posted in Yard Work | Leave a comment

Welcome Back For The First Time

By David Raposa | Published: September 7, 2008
Once upon a time, in the year 2005, a guy heard John Kruk say something really stupid during a Baseball Tonight broadcast, and wrote a personal blog post in the voice of John Kruk to laugh with and at Kruk’s particularly pungent brand of WTF.  Said guy then decided to establish a Blogger site where [...]
Posted in Official Statements | Leave a comment

Being Too Good is Never Good Enough

By David Raposa | Published: September 5, 2008
It should come as no surprised to those familiar with my public service record that I am in no way a fan of partisan politics.  I said as much during my speech at the 2008 Republican National Convention — it doesn’t matter that the letter “R” or the letter “D” follows your name.  What matters [...]
Posted in Joe Lieberman, Yard Work | Leave a comment

I Got You, Sideline Babes

By David Raposa | Published: September 3, 2008
My fellow Americans, when I was a young pageant hopeful in the Miss Alaska competition, I could never imagine the day when not one but TWO women would be running for the highest offices in the land during the same election cycle.  And that I would be one of them!  And to be the second-in-command behind [...]
Posted in Sarah Palin, Wide World | 1 Comment

With Eckstein, It’s A Dunn Deal

By David Raposa | Published: September 2, 2008
While I’m proud to be a member of the Cincinnati Reds broadcast team, and even prouder to get the chance to broadcast games with my father, Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Brennemann, I can’t help but think about the nine wonderful seasons I spent with my previous MLB employer.  I’m speaking, of course, about the [...]
Posted in Thom Brennemann, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Playing Favre-rits

By David Raposa | Published: September 1, 2008
It’s like watching the great Rodin sculpt his masterpiece statue The Thinker.  Brett Favre barks out the snap count, takes the ball from beneath the center’s meaty sweat-stained haunches, glides back three steps with a gazelle’s effortless lope, deftly rolls towards the sidelines like a Stealth bomber in Baghdad, and with child-like abandon lets fly [...]
Posted in Peter King, White Lines | Leave a comment

THE REAL DEAL: (The) Twin(s Are) Killing (Me)

By David Raposa | Published: August 28, 2008
For most of the 2008 season, the Minnesota Twins — everyone’s favorite small-market miracle, the team with more gumption than green – have lingered, fart-like (or perfume-like, if you prefer), in both the AL Central divisional race and in the hunt for the wild card. As of this (re-)writing, their August 27th 6-5 victory against [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Kevin Garnett (Or: An NBA Championship Realized)

By David Raposa | Published: August 22, 2008
The following fragment is here published at the request of a poet of great and deserved celebrity [William Wesley], and, as far as the Author’s own opinions are concerned, rather as a psychological curiosity, than on the ground of any supposed poetic merits. In the fall of 2007, the Author, then in ill spirits due [...]
Posted in Hard Wood, Samuel Taylor Coleridge | Leave a comment

Good Guys, First Place, Can Of Corn

By David Raposa | Published: August 20, 2008
Hawk here.  Don’t wanna say I told you so. But I said it.  Now, I might be a lotta things to a whole lotta people.  Some good.  Some great.  But one thing that Hawk Harrelson ain’t is a told-you-soer.  Hawk’s got class.  Like a university.  One of those Ivy League schools.  Brick buildings.  Hippie chicks.  [...]
Posted in Ken "Hawk" Harrelson, Yard Work | Leave a comment

THE REAL DEAL: The End Of An Era That Will Not End

By David Raposa | Published: August 19, 2008
As if wasn’t enough of a bummer for the shareholders of New York Yankee Fandom, Inc. to grapple with the meteoric ascendancy of Red Sox Nation and its heathen R-mulching throng these past few years (culminating in last year’s inglorious 2nd place finish to Boston, though I imagine that 4-game reversal in 2004 still stings a [...]
Posted in The Real Deal, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Chicks Dig The Double Standard

By David Raposa | Published: June 12, 2008
I know this has nothing to do with baseball, but since I am a baseball commentator, and this concerns something I supposedly did during a baseball game, then I guess it’s a baseball matter. A loyal fan e-mailed me this little “blog” link concerning a little something I said last night concerning the lovely and [...]
Posted in Sutcliffe, Rick, Yard Work | 3 Comments

The Duck, It Is Snorting

By David Raposa | Published: May 15, 2008
Don’t let the tricky title fool you. Yes, it’s another edition of DUCK SNORTS! I’m ready if you are. Let’s do this thing, people! CUBS HAVE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH PIE: The Chicago Cubs, finding themselves locked into a struggle for first place in the NL Central with the St. Louis Cardinals (who are totally [...]
Posted in Michaels, David Smithson, Yard Work | 2 Comments

2008 Season Preview: Oakland A’s

By David Raposa | Published: May 14, 2008
Today, Yard Work will step aside and introduce today’s Season Preview post from longtime A’s manager Connie Mack with an anecdote from Mack’s Wikipedia page: “Once, when [Mack] visited the mound to remove the notoriously hot-tempered [Lefty] Grove from a game, Grove said, ‘Go take a shit,’ when Mack held out his hand for the [...]
Posted in Mack, Connie, Yard Work | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: San Diego Padres

By David Raposa | Published: May 12, 2008
What, you think the Yard Work 2008 Season Preview shriveled up and died like the site usually does between May and August? Shut up! For the San Diego Padres’ preview, we took a big flying leap and reached out to one of our favorite rock stars, golden god Scott Weiland! And he reached back! Like, [...]
Posted in Weiland, Scott, Yard Work | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: New York Mets

By David Raposa | Published: April 29, 2008
It’s never too late for another 2008 Season Preview from your favorite baseball weblog, especially when the preview concerns the New York Mets, and extra-especially when it’s written by longtime Yard Work commentator (and former Mets player / coach) Rickey Henderson! Get paid with Met knowledge! Man, all Rickey has to say about those toilet [...]
Posted in Henderson, Rickey, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Late April Duck Snorts

By David Raposa | Published: April 21, 2008
I bet you didn’t realize that it’s time for another back of DUCK SNORTS. On behalf of those of us at Yard Work, I have to apologize for our sporadic posting schedule of late — I guess we were caught up in the fervor of baseball’s first month like the rest of baseball was! But [...]
Posted in Michaels, David Smithson, Yard Work | 3 Comments

Where Is The Love For … RIGHT MAKING DECISIONS?

By David Raposa | Published: April 8, 2008
Again, I bid top dollar to you with my greetings! Yes, once and always, it has been a long series of moons since I shined my peculiar light on subjects for this varied website. Let me not recount how much less than zero my lump of a baseball playing career has summed into, and instead [...]
Posted in Choi, Hee Seop, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

2008 Season Preview: New York Yankees

By David Raposa | Published: April 4, 2008
Opening Day’s come and gone, but Yard Work’s 2008 Season Preview keeps limping along! Today we hear from another presidential nominee, Senator Hilary Rodham Clinton, as she holds court on her hometown team, the New York Yankees. Just as it has been my honor to serve as a Senator to the greatest state in these [...]
Posted in Clinton, Hilary Rodham, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Third Base Coach’s Bleep

By David Raposa | Published: April 4, 2008
Since the sports world can’t seem to get enough about how stupid all these dumb-ss coaching regulations are, allow me to do what these so-called journalists can’t seem to do and tell it to you straight, L-Bow style. That’s right, ladies. BLEEP BLEEP is back, La-La Land style. And unlike that soft-tossing gimp Pedro, I [...]
Posted in Bowa, Larry, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Opening Day Duck Snorts

By David Raposa | Published: April 1, 2008
Hello again, Yard Work readers! Hope you’re having a great and prank-free April Fool’s Day. Now that Opening Day has finally arrived for the third time this season, it’s time for DUCK SNORTS to look at the previous day’s action and see what stories are developing across the Major League Baseball landscape. Let’s get it [...]
Posted in Michaels, David Smithson, Yard Work | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

By David Raposa | Published: March 28, 2008
Like sands through the hourglass, if the hourglass was full of water, so goes the 2008 Yard Work Season Preview. Today’s installment concerns the Philadelphia Phillies, and is penned by AM radio drive-time personality (and Emmy Award winner) Howard Eskin. Ah, Phillies baseball. Like watching retards trying to snap their fingers. Seriously, folks, if you [...]
Posted in Eskin, Howard, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

A President, Resigned*

By David Raposa | Published: March 26, 2008
This is the 1st time I have spoken to you, the fans of baseball, since I have resigned my post as president of the Baseball Hall of Fame. Unlike President Richard Nixon, who was afforded the comfort of addressing the nation from the Oval Office one final time before his untimely departure, I am penning [...]
Posted in Petroskey, Dale, Yard Work | 3 Comments

2008 Season Preview: Chicago White Sox

By David Raposa | Published: March 24, 2008
Yard Work’s glorious 2008 Season Preview is just about half-way done! And just in time for the end of Spring Training, too! Today’s installment comes from one of this site’s favorite go-to guys, and the only man in baseball history to fire both Tony LaRussa and Dave Dombrowski, Chicago White Sox broadcaster Ken “Hawk” Harrelson. [...]
Posted in Harrelson, Ken "Hawk", Yard Work | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

This Time It Always Counts

By David Raposa | Published: March 18, 2008
Hello baseball fans! I can’t believe it’s almost time for the season to start again! It feels like it was just last October that I was in Colorado watching the Red Sox win another World Series, and it was. But now it’s Spring Training time, and this has to be my most favorite time of [...]
Posted in Morgan, Joe, Yard Work | 2 Comments

Duck Snorts

By David Raposa | Published: March 17, 2008
This is David Smithson Michaels, welcoming you back to another edition of DUCK SNORTS. It looks like Spring Training is getting close to the end, and Opening Day is only a few more weeks away. As players compete for those final roster spots, and managers work on their lineups, here’s what’s been happening in baseball [...]
Posted in Michaels, David Smithson, Yard Work | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: Los Angeles Dodgers

By David Raposa | Published: March 17, 2008
The Yard Work 2008 Season Preview cannot be stopped! Until it’s finished! Shake and bake! Today’s preview features hard-hitting Los Angeles Times columnist T.J. Simers talking about the Los Angeles Dodgers with his Times colleague, Bill Plaschke. Bill Plaschke has written for the LA Times for over twenty years, twelve of those as a sports [...]
Posted in Simers, T.J., Yard Work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: Cincinnati Reds

By David Raposa | Published: March 14, 2008
The train keeps a-rollin’ here at the Yard Work 2008 Season Preview! Today we present to you the Cincinnati Reds, courtesy of America’s favorite bat-boy, Darren Baker. Hello my name is Darren Baker and my dad is famous World Series and Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker but he is now in the Reds who are [...]
Posted in Baker, Darren, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: Boston Red Sox

By David Raposa | Published: March 12, 2008
In 2004, best-selling authors Stephen King and Stewart O’Nan teamed up to write Faithful, a day-by-day account of the Boston Red Sox championship season as experienced through the eyes of two diehard fans. Now that Boston has once again climbed to the summit of their sport, we here at Yard Work are proud to re-team [...]
Posted in King, Stephen, O'Nan, Stewart, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

2008 Season Preview: Baltimore Orioles

By David Raposa | Published: March 11, 2008
Continuing our award-baiting preview of the 2008 Major League Baseball season, Yard Work is proud to present Scott Templeton‘s report on the Baltimore Orioles. Formerly of the Baltimore Sun, Mr. Templeton is a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist currently contributing to the New Republic and the New York Times. We hope you enjoy his unique and [...]
Posted in Templeton, Scott, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

2008 Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

By David Raposa | Published: March 7, 2008
Welcome to Part Four of our continuing 2008 Season Preview. Today’s topic is the Atlanta Braves, and today’s writer explains who the hell she is in the very first paragraph, so read on! Hello there everyone. My name is Alexyss K. Tylor, and I am the author of the best-selling book, and host of the [...]
Posted in Tylor, Alexyss K., Yard Work | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: Arizona Diamondbacks

By David Raposa | Published: March 5, 2008
Welcome back to the Yard Work 2008 Season Preview. Every day or so, up until and past Opening Day, some person from some place will sound off on some team. In Part Two of our series, Arizona Senator (and presidential hopeful) John McCain talks about his home-state Diamondbacks, and being old. As I’ve been touring [...]
Posted in McCain, John, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

We Got Dibs On Rookie Contracts!

By David Raposa | Published: March 4, 2008
Well, it’s about damn time. Not like I was waiting around by my e-mail box, waiting for some jerk from big fancy pants “Yard Work” to finally invite me back to their nerdy little party — with my sweet XM Radio gig (with my buddy Double K) and my even sweeter Best Damn Fox stuff, [...]
Posted in Dibble, Rob, Yard Work | Leave a comment

2008 Season Preview: Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles

By David Raposa | Published: March 3, 2008
Welcome to the Yard Work 2008 Season Preview. Every day or so, up until and past Opening Day, some person from some place will sound off on some team. We begin, of course, with the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles, and Angels TV color commentator Rex Hudler. Hey there baseball fans! Welcome back to another [...]
Posted in Hudler, Rex, Yard Work | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Duck Snorts

By David Raposa | Published: February 29, 2008
Hello again. My name is David Smithson Michaels, and welcome back to DUCK SNORTS. The response to my initial post was amazing (as you can see for yourself), and the folks here are gladly giving me another chance. So, just in time for some of the first or second spring training games of the 2008 [...]
Posted in Michaels, David Smithson, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Pay Barry (Or Don’t)

By David Raposa | Published: February 26, 2008
My name is Barry Lamar Bonds. I am the all-time home run hitter in Major League Baseball, and hold the single season record for most HRs. At the age of 42, I hit 28 home runs in only 477 plate appearances, and reached base 48% of the time. I still want to play baseball. And [...]
Posted in Bonds, Barry, Yard Work | 2 Comments

Pierre Variations

By David Raposa | Published: February 26, 2008
“Those around the Dodgers believe that Juan Pierre will be the everyday left fielder to begin the season, while Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp platoon in right.” – John Perrotto, BaseballProspectus.com, February 24, 2008 Those around the Red Sox believe that Bobby Kielty will be the everyday left fielder to begin the season, while Manny [...]
Posted in Pierre, Juan, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Showboating Should Ride The Pine

By David Raposa | Published: February 20, 2008
Someone give Jose Reyes a raise, or a plaque, or some sort of medal. Finally, a notable athlete slogging around the cesspool that is Major League Baseball is taking a stand against the displays of moronic machismo that are all too common in today’s sports landscape. In an article published in today’s edition of New [...]
Posted in Mushnick, Phil, Yard Work | Leave a comment

Chass Variations

By David Raposa | Published: February 19, 2008
“Not that they want to see any prospect fail, but old-line major league scouts everywhere stood up and cheered last week. Jeremy Brown, the Oakland Athletics announced, had retired.” – Murray Chass, The New York Times, February 19, 2008 Not that they would ever wish this upon their worst enemy, but sports bloggers everywhere gave [...]
Posted in Chass, Murray, Yard Work | 4 Comments

Duck Snorts

By David Raposa | Published: February 15, 2008
Hello there. My name is David Smithson Michaels, and welcome to DUCK SNORTS. During the season, I’ll go through all the news happening in baseball, pick out the best stories for you, and offer you my expert analysis and opinions on what these stories mean to you, the intelligent fans of baseball. Here are the [...]
Posted in Michaels, David Smithson, Yard Work | Leave a comment